If fiction got up to meet reality , first impression itself will be full of amazement.
Neighbors are crucial part of your life , if you are staying in India. Each state, in fact each city has it's own genes when it comes to neighborhood. Mumbai is full of isolated neighborhood, smile is good - hi, bye is very good and good morning, how are you? is close to acquaintance.But there is warmth in secluded behavior, respect for your privacy. Where as, Delhi is more like talking and show off what you have and realize what you don't. Competitive. Pushing you over edge.
But when you get down to 2-tier cities neighborhood is more integral part of you daily life. Housewives greeting daily to buy vegetables, father dropping each other's kids, mother-in-laws discussing about daughter-in-laws secretly, wives sharing their sacred space with each other seeking for support or for juvenile purpose. In short it is very well integrated life where family is distant but neighbors are part of your life and daily support system.
When I moved in this city, my transition was three fold. I lived my childhood in similar gene towns, one where neighbors of my parent's are still part of my life. But when I moved to Mumbai for 6 years I lived isolated, independent and free life. Every one around use to rush for work at same time, com back at same time, required same isolation for sanity sake, still when needed they where just around. Now when I am back in city with close neighborhood things have changed at some places. It is more cosmopolitan and upcoming new housing are similar like Mumbai or Delhi standard. But I am put up with 21 year old building cum society where everyone knows everyone.
My main attraction to this home was big windows for open sky and no high rise around giving me clean view on land, till my eyes can reach. An old but well renovated and homely place. In all of this I never thought about neighbors.
This is a story about 3 single females on my block. Question is why I am sharing about these people ? Each one has typical characteristics for survival in uncanny way. Some has honest goodness with harsh face, some has pretentious goodness through soft face and some are just lost souls. Being Single could be by choice, by fate and for some by desire for hidden fantasies.
Here my factitious mind met with reality of neighborhood on very first day when I moved in. As we unloaded piles of boxes , pieces of dispersed furniture a diagnostically opposite neighbor came out. Around early 50es, curly boy-cut hair with hint of grey, in her overnight gown. She started giving instruction to my mom ( who was helping me in whole shifting thing ) and laborer. After few tolerant moments my mom gave her due that unless asked she will not appreciate anyone interfering. Over few months I got to know her as very supporting , genuine , little loud but very honest, very knowledgeable, retired IT professional, speaks very pure hindi ( because she is from UP ), well read but " I lead my life on my way" type Single Woman.
She is my support if I need emergency gas cylinder, a company to share evening tea or want to discuss a book. Someone who can discuss history to glaring gossips of rest of the neighborhood. She is indeed moody but fact I like about her is there is no malice in her act or talk. She will never greet a person on our floor with smile but it will be with a question, what are you doing here ? it is protective reaction but unless you know her well you think it as rude and cynical.
Taught me : Don't go by face and tone of voice. Go by meaning of sentence. A person may sound rude but that might not be voice of heart.
Here, comes my second face-off with reality. Due to unopened boxes we didn't have bed or clean bedrooms to sleep. So me and my mom both were on couches in front room. Suddenly around 7: 00 am a dog started barking. Not just once but constantly for around 2 to 3 hours. Sounded like she ( Dog is female ) was just doing it to wake us up. And so here comes a story of my second neighbor. She is in mid fifties, higher secondary school teach from very well known English medium private school, Sardarni with long hair, widow with lean body and little pale face with deep eyes showing hardship that she has undertaken by raising two sons alone since very young age. She is the one who will always smile at you, with few greeting words she will limit herself. Never open up about her life and problems. Neither she will complain about anyone nor she will be part of issues. As her sons moved out one for studies and another one due to work all she has is DOG with her.
There were times we couldn't sleep or talk simply due to dog barking. Barking was new issue because recently both the sons had moved out so Dog was not use to staying alone. Not only me but many neighbors was disturbed with this. Once or twice I must have nicely told her but at times other floor people use to come to fight. Still house lady use to always smile, listen and show genuine apology but never took any actions to correct it. Over months dog got use to stay alone and things fell in place.
Taught me : Being just nice is not supportive to others but could be self energy preserving. Look at what is important to you , rest world can take care of itself.
At last, after settling with basic things when I realized it might take few days to get my official gas connection, my 3rd next door neighbor happen to ask me if I need anything as friendly gesture. I asked if I can get some temporary arrangement or some local contact person for this. But she offered her spare cylinder for temporary use. It was too welcoming before I could conclude with yes or no, my mom already accepted to avoid further tiredness to what we both had be part of. And this is introduction to her, She is in mid 40es, stout body, shabbily dressed, shallow and callous voice, too loud personality ( unnecessarily ) and single.
First few gestures were very friendly but as time moved on some things became too obvious with her lies. She was poky, with some scandalous business of her own her life was too shady. I started keeping my distance but over time when she stopped getting attention from me her frustrations went up the hills. Height of depression is because I don't talk to her she needs different means to engage like unnecessary and uncalled fight. So my day starts with some ajay devgan's mid 90's songs or jamebibai rap or sometimes night 60es rafi songs, playing in highest possible volume but cherry on top is end of the day soap opera dialogues that I would love to hate.
Taught me : Some people are like nuisance however you try, can't avoid. And world also has depressing loners who would love to fight to just get heard.
And that is the story of my neighborhood :)
